Week 52 Progress Report: The Year in Review

Tomorrow will be the anniversary of this program. Since I don’t have tomorrow’s weight, which won’t be that much better than today’s (I’ll explain), I’ll use today’s to discuss the year-end progress. However, let’s start off with the week-ending stats:

Starting Weight:	208.8
Original Target*:	209.0
Adjusted Target:	207.0
Actual Weight:	210.8
Loss/Gain:	+ 2.0
Total Loss:	91.8
% of Goal:	66.2%
Avg. Loss/Wk.:	– 1.8
*Original target calculated from a starting weight of 302.6 lbs. and an average loss/wk. of 1.8 lbs.

At an average loss rate of 1.8 pounds/week, I should have lost 93.6 pounds — and I might have come much closer if I hadn’t broken down while bowling last night and had a basket of French fries. (They’re so delicious when they’re fresh out of the fryer! But they turn into complex sugars almost the minute they hit your mouth.) As it is, from being at one point 19 pounds under the line to 1.8 pounds over the line takes the shine off of an accomplishment that’s otherwise still praiseworthy.

I said in my last post — was it almost a month ago? — that month 11, December to January, was pretty much a wash since I ended only 0.4 pounds lighter than I began. Month 12 isn’t going to end much better. If I watch my intake very closely today, I’ll probably hit 210.0 in the morning, which would be a 2.4-pound loss for the month. This last week has been particularly bad, with a 4.4-pound gain in the last eight days after achieving a low of 206.4. Buying Girl Scout cookies last weekend didn’t help.

Worse, Month 13 is a short month, leaving me only 41 days to reach my adjusted goal of 196 by March 23. I can make it if I cut another 295 kcal off my budget. However, my budget is already below the 1,500-kcal threshold. I don’t think I have to fast this Lent because my calorie deficit is already over one-third of the calories I need to maintain my weight; another 295 kcal would increase it to half!

I’ve talked before about setting my budget at a flat 1,500 kcal/day. Because that would start decreasing my weight loss rate as the gap between my BMR and my budget decreases, that would lengthen the time it would take to reach my goal weight by 13 – 14 weeks, or just over three months, from Aug. 3 to somewhere between Nov. 3 and Nov. 10. However, I put it off because I thought I could continue to lower my budget. But it seems 1,500 kcal (1,700 – 1,800 kcal, after you factor in exercise) is the least I can eat for any length of time at present.

One thing is clear: In the last couple of months, my accountability has — well, not disappeared but at least been left wanting. I still track my numbers on Lose It! and Samsung Health, but this is my first blog entry in a month. I could give a number of excuses, but that’s what they would be: excuses.

I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished so far; losing over 90 pounds is no mean feat. But my fear now is that I’m giving up. Or, rather, giving in to my gluttony. Like alcoholism, you can’t say you’ve beaten gluttony until you’re ready to draw your last breath on earth. I’m not there yet. Yes, I look and feel much better than I have in years, but I can do better. I still have just under 47 pounds to go to reach my goal; I don’t want to be satisfied with bouncing between 205 and 210 for the rest of my life.

What do you do when you fall off the wagon? You pick yourself up and get back on it. Neither self-pity nor self-flagellation has gotten me anywhere close to my goals or desires. So I have no more time or words to spend on either. You give the cactus a firm hug, accept that you slipped, forgive yourself, and start marching forward again.

So here’s to the new year and another nine months to go. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished so far; I just need to get my head back in the game. Hopefully, I’ll have more cheerful news next week.